Picnic in the Dining-Room
At last she decided that a certain meadow (in reality no different from any other meadow we had examined) would do. Mrs. Brown opened the gate and drove the car inside. We started to unload.
I had never in my life realised that so much stuff could be required for a simple picnic. A folding table was produced together with a clean glossy tablecloth, folding chain (with cushions), enough crockery and cutlery for a banquet and more than enough food for six courses, paper napkins, a transistor radio, half a dozen illustrated magazines and even soap, a towel, water and a bowl for washing our hands after the meal. I half expected a
crimson carpet , possibly footstools for our feet , with red candles as tasteful table decorations. I did discover a tin of fly killer, a bottle of ammonia for the treatment of stings and even some indigestion tablets.
For a whole hour we made our preparations and at last everything that we needed was ready. As we were enjoying our first mouthful of thermos-flask soup, a stout man opened the gate and came towards us.
"Sorry to make a nuisance of myself, but in five minutes we shall have finished milking the cows, " he announced. ˇ° Theyˇ®ll be coming back here directly after. "
Mrs. Brown gazed at him speechless for a moment. At last she found words. "But you can see we've only just started eating, " she protested indignantly. "surely you can delay sending them in for an hour or so?"
"Sorry ma'am, we've other jobs to do. We'Il give you time to clear up: that's the most that we can allow. Say twenty minutes. You know you're trespassing, of course?"
Mrs. Brown seemed to collapse in her chair. I wished I were fifty miles off. Mr. Brown was the only one that accepted
the situation philosophically.
"It seems to be high time we departed, " was his only comment.
Half an hour after we moved off as the cows were wandering down the lane and as the first drops of rain were falling.
We joined the traffic jam in the main road. Three hours later we unpacked again and had our picnic in Mrs. Brown's
dining-room---with a carpet underfoot but still no candles. We were strangely silent but our deep sense of grievance
did not in any way prevent us from eating a great deal.
From First Certificate in English Course for
Foreign Students , ed. , Ona Low, 1974.
Approximately l , 000 words.
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